Want to impress your date? Order a Negroni. Want to impress your boss? Order a Negroni. Want to impress the bartender? Order a Negroni.

In the post-Prohibition bar world, bartenders default to a simple axiom: stir when the drink is all spirits and shake when juices and other non-alcoholic ingredients are involved.

A proper drink at the right time—one mixed with care and skill and served in a true spirit of hospitality—is better than any other made thing at giving us the illusion, at least, that we’re getting what we want from life.

Hear no evil, speak no evil, and you won’t be invited to cocktail parties.